How to Raise Adults for the Future (Not Kids for Now)

This week, I had the honor of reconnecting with Dr. Gary Davison, the founding (Retd.) principal of Lambert High School here in Georgia. In our conversation, he said something that has stayed with me:

“Parents today need to raise adults of tomorrow, not kids for today.”

It was such a simple line—but it hit me like a truth bomb.

Because let’s be honest, it’s hard. We live in a world of deadlines, group chats, and Amazon Prime—everything is instant. And it’s easy to fall into the trap of solving today’s small problems instead of preparing our kids for tomorrow’s big ones.

But when I reflected on Dr. Davison’s advice, three clear shifts came to mind that can help us raise adults for the future, not just kids for now.

1. Let Them Fail (and Feel It)

By “let them fail,” I don’t mean abandoning them when things go wrong. I mean letting them face the natural consequences of their mistakes.

If they forget their lunch box—don’t rush to school like a hero on a rescue mission. Let them experience what it feels like to miss lunch once. That discomfort becomes their best teacher.

Dr. Davison put it perfectly:

“When kids struggle, we change the environment for them. But when adults struggle, they must change themselves.”

That’s powerful. Because if we always fix the environment, they never learn how to recalibrate themselves. And the world won’t rearrange itself when they mess up—it’ll expect them to adapt, reflect, and move forward.

2. Teach Them How to Take Feedback

The moment teens step into adulthood, their world expands beyond your driveway to, well, the world. Suddenly, they’re surrounded by people who are more seasoned, skilled, and sometimes brutally honest.

The ability to take feedback graciously—to grow from it rather than crumble because of it—is one of the most underrated life skills.

Here’s a quick framework to teach them:

• Step 1: Identify if the criticism is constructive or destructive. If it attacks you as a person, it’s destructive. Ignore it.If it focuses on your actions, it’s constructive. Lean in.

  
  

• Step 2: Ask, “What can I do differently next time?”That one question turns feedback into fuel.

  
  

For example, if a teacher says, “Your essay lacked structure,” that’s not a personal attack. It’s an invitation to improve organization next time.

3. Help Them Build Their Anchors

This one, in my opinion, is the most important.

When kids step into adulthood, they need anchors—people who ground them, guide them, and listen without judgment. These could be teachers, coaches, family friends, or mentors.

Here’s how to make it real:

• Identify three adults you deeply admire and want your teen to stay connected with.

• Encourage your teen to check in with one of them each month—maybe over Zoom or coffee

• Don’t start with advice or life lessons. Start with connection.

  
  

Over time, these small touchpoints grow into powerful relationships that your teen can lean on. Anchors don’t appear overnight—they’re cultivated. But they can keep your child grounded when life gets noisy.

Raising adults for the future means playing the long game. It’s about teaching resilience, self-reflection, and connection over convenience, comfort, and compliance.

So the next time you’re tempted to jump in and save the day, pause. Let your child stumble a little, reflect a little, and rise a lot.

Because our goal isn’t to raise perfect kids—it’s to raise capable, confident adults for the future.