We all want our children to be relentless. We want them to keep going when life disappoints them, frustrates them, embarrasses them, or simply refuses to go according to plan. We want them to have grit. We admire perseverance. We read books like Angela Duckworth’s Grit, we nod along to the research, and we tell ourselves that the children who learn to push through hard things are the ones who will thrive. But there is a deeper question hiding underneath all of that. If persev

Lately, I have found myself deeply moved by the interviews that followed the Artemis mission around the moon. There was something about hearing the astronauts speak after seeing Earth from that distance that stayed with me in a way I did not expect. Out of all the reflections I listened to, the one that struck me most was Christina Koch’s description of what it felt like to look back at Earth. She spoke not only about the beauty of the planet itself, but about the vast darkne

In this series, What Teens Wish Their Parents Knew , I share the honest truths teens wish adults understood a little better. Because I work closely with teenagers, I get to ask them questions like these anonymously. That matters, because when teens know they can answer honestly, they usually do. And what is so striking is that one student’s answer so often reflects what many others have been feeling all along. This week, I want to explore something a 15 year old shared in his

From everything I have seen, high school is not just a step up from middle school. It is a completely different world. In middle school, friendships often happen without much effort. Students see the same peers every day, sit next to them in class, and slowly build connection through shared routines. It feels natural. And then high school begins. Suddenly, that rhythm disappears. Their friends are not always in their classes anymore, the hallways feel bigger, the expectations

Mastering time management begins with failing at it. That may sound counterintuitive, especially in a world where we celebrate perfect routines and polished planners, but let me explain what I am seeing every single week. I am currently in the middle of parent conferences, and one theme keeps surfacing in almost every conversation. It is not a lack of intelligence, it is not a lack of opportunity, it is not even a lack of motivation. It is the absence of effective time manage

High school has a funny way of surprising families. Many parents imagine that once their child gets into a good high school, the path forward will somehow become clearer. It feels like things will start to fall into place. Students will take the right classes, join the right activities, and gradually build a strong profile for college and life beyond school. But when I talk to my students, I hear something very different. For many teenagers, high school initially feels less l

“I promise I try, even if you can’t see it.” — Age 14 If you are reading this blog post, it likely means you are already a deeply invested parent. You are trying to support your child in becoming their best self while also being mindful not to become overbearing. You are aware that your own perspective, shaped by your experiences and the era you grew up in, may not fully capture what your child is navigating today. So you are seeking other perspectives, listening, and staying

I recently asked my students a question that many parents had requested I bring to them: “What is it that you wish your parents knew in order for you to be more successful?” I received over a hundred responses. The very first one came from a 17 year old: “When I want to tell you something, I don’t want a lecture. I want comfort.” That response captures something many parents struggle with: how to respond when teens come with problems. If you are a parent, I want you to resist

Recently, while I was talking to a group of eighth graders about preparing for high school, one student raised her hand and asked, “What does GPA even stand for?” Not how to get a 5.0. Not how many AP classes to take. Just what does it mean? And I paused. Because in Forsyth County, we talk about GPAs constantly. We reference 4.6s and 4.8s as if they are everyday vocabulary. We compare weighted versus unweighted numbers at the dinner table. Yet many rising high schoolers are q

High school is often perceived as intimidating by students, and when I sit across from them and listen carefully, I understand why. High school represents a bold developmental leap where teens begin discovering independence and identity at the same time. The shift is significant. One year they are being closely guided, and the next they are expected to manage digital homework platforms independently. They transition from being driven everywhere to driving themselves. Convers

The High School Playbook is a weekly series designed to help high school students and their families navigate common challenges with clarity, confidence, and intention. Each week, we take one experience that many students quietly struggle with and examine it thoughtfully, not through pressure or quick fixes, but through practical strategies that can be applied in everyday life. This series is grounded in a simple observation. Many of the frustrations students experience in hi

We often talk to teens about working harder, staying disciplined, and managing their time better, but one of the most overlooked drivers of long-term success has very little to do with individual effort. Growth is rarely built in isolation. It is shaped by the people teens spend time with, the conversations they have, and the perspectives they are exposed to consistently. At its core, building relationships for teen success is about helping teens understand that growth, confi

The High School Playbook is a weekly series designed to help high schoolers navigate the real challenges of school with clarity, confidence, and intention. Each week, we take one common struggle that students face and break it down, not with pressure or quick fixes, but with practical strategies that help them understand what is actually getting in the way and how to move forward. This series is grounded in what I see every day in my work with students, the moments where they

Why Teaching Teens to Pause Matters More Than Keeping Them Busy We are living in a world that has quietly but firmly convinced us that being busy is a sign of importance, that full calendars equal ambition, and that slowing down is something to be earned only after everything else is complete. As a result, teaching teens to pause has become both countercultural and deeply necessary, even though hustle culture doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Sometimes it shows up disgui

When Ambition Meets Real Life If you had told me a year ago that I would become a gym regular, someone who actually plans her week around strength training, I would have laughed and gone back to convincing myself that walking the dog counted as exercise. And yet here I am, proudly calling myself a gym addict, with an ambitious goal of strength training five days a week and a far more realistic outcome of usually landing at four, which I genuinely feel proud of. I have always

Most parents don’t question their teen’s intelligence or effort. What confuses them is the disconnect they see in certain moments. Their child prepares, cares deeply, and puts in the work, yet when the moment arrives, something seems to slip. It might look like a blank mind during a test, sudden self-doubt before an interview, or a performance that doesn’t reflect what the teen is capable of. Parents are left wondering what happened, because on paper, nothing was missing. Wha

This time of year carries a quiet energy. There is a sense of turning the page, of wanting the next chapter to feel different. When I sit with students during these weeks, I hear variations of the same underlying hope. They want growth, clarity and they want to feel more capable in the year ahead. That is when I realized something important. We all want to improve, achieve meaningful things, and feel successful. Yet only some people follow through on those aspirations and sta

Every year around this time, I notice the same quiet tension settling into many households with high schoolers. It usually starts with a simple question that quickly snowballs into stress. How many service hours does my child need this year? In the race to stand out, teens often get stuck focusing on accumulating a specific number of service hours for high school. Parents start tracking spreadsheets, texting group chats, searching for last minute opportunities, and sometimes

A few days ago, some parents asked me a question that had been coming up in several homes. They wanted to understand why grades often slip when students enter high school, and they specifically requested that I ask the students how they feel about it. So I did. I took this question to our teens, and their responses were honest, thoughtful, and important for us to hear. Understanding Why Teens' Grades Drop in High School 1. Competition creates more stress than motivation Many

If there is one thing I have learned over the years of working with families, it is that parents are among the most selfless beings on this planet. Something in us rearranges itself when a child enters our lives. We carry this instinct deep in our bones. Even animals do. This spring, I was standing in my garden completely lost in thought when a tiny five ounce bird came flying straight at me. She had built a nest in the bushes and in her mind I was a threat to her eggs. The a