I recently asked my students a question that many parents had requested I bring to them: “What is it that you wish your parents knew in order for you to be more successful?” I received over a hundred responses. The very first one came from a 17 year old: “When I want to tell you something, I don’t want a lecture. I want comfort.” That response captures something many parents struggle with: how to respond when teens come with problems. If you are a parent, I want you to resist

Recently, while I was talking to a group of eighth graders about preparing for high school, one student raised her hand and asked, “What does GPA even stand for?” Not how to get a 5.0. Not how many AP classes to take. Just what does it mean? And I paused. Because in Forsyth County, we talk about GPAs constantly. We reference 4.6s and 4.8s as if they are everyday vocabulary. We compare weighted versus unweighted numbers at the dinner table. Yet many rising high schoolers are q

High school is often perceived as intimidating by students, and when I sit across from them and listen carefully, I understand why. High school represents a bold developmental leap where teens begin discovering independence and identity at the same time. The shift is significant. One year they are being closely guided, and the next they are expected to manage digital homework platforms independently. They transition from being driven everywhere to driving themselves. Convers

The High School Playbook is a weekly series designed to help high school students and their families navigate common challenges with clarity, confidence, and intention. Each week, we take one experience that many students quietly struggle with and examine it thoughtfully, not through pressure or quick fixes, but through practical strategies that can be applied in everyday life. This series is grounded in a simple observation. Many of the frustrations students experience in hi

We often talk to teens about working harder, staying disciplined, and managing their time better, but one of the most overlooked drivers of long-term success has very little to do with individual effort. Growth is rarely built in isolation. It is shaped by the people teens spend time with, the conversations they have, and the perspectives they are exposed to consistently. At its core, building relationships for teen success is about helping teens understand that growth, confi

The High School Playbook is a weekly series designed to help high schoolers navigate the real challenges of school with clarity, confidence, and intention. Each week, we take one common struggle that students face and break it down, not with pressure or quick fixes, but with practical strategies that help them understand what is actually getting in the way and how to move forward. This series is grounded in what I see every day in my work with students, the moments where they

Why Teaching Teens to Pause Matters More Than Keeping Them Busy We are living in a world that has quietly but firmly convinced us that being busy is a sign of importance, that full calendars equal ambition, and that slowing down is something to be earned only after everything else is complete. As a result, teaching teens to pause has become both countercultural and deeply necessary, even though hustle culture doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Sometimes it shows up disgui

When Ambition Meets Real Life If you had told me a year ago that I would become a gym regular, someone who actually plans her week around strength training, I would have laughed and gone back to convincing myself that walking the dog counted as exercise. And yet here I am, proudly calling myself a gym addict, with an ambitious goal of strength training five days a week and a far more realistic outcome of usually landing at four, which I genuinely feel proud of. I have always

Most parents don’t question their teen’s intelligence or effort. What confuses them is the disconnect they see in certain moments. Their child prepares, cares deeply, and puts in the work, yet when the moment arrives, something seems to slip. It might look like a blank mind during a test, sudden self-doubt before an interview, or a performance that doesn’t reflect what the teen is capable of. Parents are left wondering what happened, because on paper, nothing was missing. Wha

This time of year carries a quiet energy. There is a sense of turning the page, of wanting the next chapter to feel different. When I sit with students during these weeks, I hear variations of the same underlying hope. They want growth, clarity and they want to feel more capable in the year ahead. That is when I realized something important. We all want to improve, achieve meaningful things, and feel successful. Yet only some people follow through on those aspirations and sta

Every year around this time, I notice the same quiet tension settling into many households with high schoolers. It usually starts with a simple question that quickly snowballs into stress. How many service hours does my child need this year? In the race to stand out, teens often get stuck focusing on accumulating a specific number of service hours for high school. Parents start tracking spreadsheets, texting group chats, searching for last minute opportunities, and sometimes

A few days ago, some parents asked me a question that had been coming up in several homes. They wanted to understand why grades often slip when students enter high school, and they specifically requested that I ask the students how they feel about it. So I did. I took this question to our teens, and their responses were honest, thoughtful, and important for us to hear. Understanding Why Teens' Grades Drop in High School 1. Competition creates more stress than motivation Many

If there is one thing I have learned over the years of working with families, it is that parents are among the most selfless beings on this planet. Something in us rearranges itself when a child enters our lives. We carry this instinct deep in our bones. Even animals do. This spring, I was standing in my garden completely lost in thought when a tiny five ounce bird came flying straight at me. She had built a nest in the bushes and in her mind I was a threat to her eggs. The a

If you have been parenting a teenager for any length of time, you know how much energy goes into grades, test scores, and college preparation. Yet every time I speak with parents who work in demanding professional environments, one truth becomes impossible to ignore. Communication skills are more important for teens than almost anything else they learn. Whenever I meet parents who lead teams or make hiring decisions, I always ask them what skill gaps they see most often in th

Last week during parent conferences, one mom leaned in and asked, “So, Alpana… how important is this high school pathway thing?” It made me smile because she wasn’t the first to ask. By the end of the week, five other parents had brought up the exact same question, some with genuine worry, others with a laugh that said, please tell me this isn’t as serious as it sounds. Apparently, the entire county had been swept up in what I can only call Pathway Panic 2025. Everyone had j

The Triple Pressure Teens Face Today Let’s face it, our teens are living lives that we could never have imagined at their age. The world they are growing up in demands more, moves faster, and rarely pauses for breath. 1: The Rigor of High School Let’s start with academics. The rigor today is unreal.AP-level courses were designed for college students, not for 14-year-olds who are still figuring out who they are and how to balance homework with a life. Yet many of them are alre

This week, I had the honor of reconnecting with Dr. Gary Davison, the founding (Retd.) principal of Lambert High School here in Georgia. In our conversation, he said something that has stayed with me: “Parents today need to raise adults of tomorrow, not kids for today.” It was such a simple line—but it hit me like a truth bomb. Because let’s be honest, it’s hard. We live in a world of deadlines, group chats, and Amazon Prime—everything is instant. And it’s easy to fall into

It’s 6:30 a.m. The alarm goes off. Your teen groans, fumbles for the phone, and hits snooze. Nine minutes later, it happens again. Then again. You call out, “Time to get up!” but you already know what’s coming — the muffled “In five minutes!” that somehow stretches into fifteen. Sound familiar? It’s not laziness. It’s habit. And buried inside that small act of “just five more minutes” is something much bigger than we realize. Because every time we hit snooze, we’re rehears

Have you ever had one of those mornings where the to-do list feels like a mountain before you’ve even had breakfast? I was listening to...

It’s ninth grade. Backpacks are heavier, phones buzz constantly, and suddenly—there’s a new word floating around the house: crush. One...